Just booked a couples massage as a gift for the wife and I over my Christmas break. I love getting a massage, I always feel so funky afterward.

The part of the massage I don’t like is when they try to sell you the crap afterward. You’ve just experienced a small slice of heaven and the masseuse starts pimping oils and all sorts of other crap. It’s all overpriced too. No thanks, I don’t want a $75 bottle of massage oil. I just spent $200 on the massage, isn’t that enough you leech?

Apparently the place The Wife and I like to visit has decided that it’s not enough to pimp extras after the massage. When I called to set the appointment they started asking me if I wanted to “upgrade” my experience with different items. No thanks! I don’t need a custom robe or a special water bottle with their logo tacked on to the bill. I just want a frickin’ massage! How hard is that to accomplish?

Maybe I’m just getting too old, but this stuff is really starting to bug me. Give me my 50 minute massage and don’t try to sell me everything under the sun while I’m in there. If your water bottle is super cool, maybe I’ll be interested in buying it, but I’m definitely not purchasing it based on the description you give over the phone. Besides, why would I pay $50 for a water bottle with your logo on it when I can get one at Academy for $10 and no logo? Both water bottles do the exact same thing.

Now, if you want to give me your water bottle and pay me a small fee for me advertising your services & facility, I’m open to discussions.