Last Monday morning, around 1am, I woke up feeling ill. My stomach was hurting and I had that queasy feeling that I was about to throw up. I run to the toilet and proceed to puke my guts out for about 10 minutes. After cleaning up, I definitely felt better and was positive that something I ate earlier in the day simply disagreed with me. I went to bed thinking that the worst was over and I could go back to sleep. Holy shit was I wrong.

For the next seven hours I was throwing up every 15 minutes like clockwork. After a good two hours there was nothing left in my stomach to release, so I would dry heave for a bit until the feeling subsided. Then I was back again for another round about 5 minutes later.

I’m very well versed in the ways dehydration messes up your body. So I tried very hard to keep hydrated as I started my puking episodes. However, if I drank any water, boom, up it would come. Gatorade was no good either. Sprite came out faster than it went down. No matter what I drank, my body was rejecting it. This is a major problem.

Pepto Bismol was the first medicine I tried to eliminate the vomiting. No sooner than the pink liquid hit my throat than I was hunched over a toilet puking it up.

My wife has some Zofran to help when she feels nauseous. You guessed it. As soon as it started dissolving on my tongue I was racing to the toilet to puke up whatever medicine had made it into my body.

Fortunately, after several hours, my body just gave up and I stopped vomiting. I couldn’t talk because my throat was so sore from the ordeal. I dare not drink anything for fear of triggering another episode.

By now it was Monday morning and The Wife called our doctor. The doctor didn’t hesitate, he sent me straight to the hospital for an IV. At the hospital, they were shocked by how pale and gaunt I appeared. They took vitals and immediately put me in a bed and told me I wasn’t going anywhere. I had joked about going to work once the IV kicked in.

Apparently shellfish-based food poisoning is serious business. We traced the illness back to shrimp tacos I ate for dinner on Sunday night. That’s the only thing my wife and I didn’t share all day. The doctors said that my vitals were in the critical zone and that I might have died if I hadn’t come to the hospital when I did. Crazy eh?

I ended up spending 4 days in the hospital recovering. Our Thanksgiving plans were toast due to my illness. Friends and family missed out on my cheery face and I missed out on my most favorite meal of the year.

It’s been over a week since the episode. I’m just now getting back to some form of normal. I lost nearly 20 pounds due to my lack of diet, although I’m sure most of that is water weight I’ll gain back in a few more days. I haven’t eaten a full meal since, just bits and pieces here and there. Maybe this will be a change for the better and I won’t gorge on things like cheeseburgers anymore.

Be careful out there when you order shellfish from a restaurant. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to the place we had dinner Sunday night. It’s one of my daughter’s favorite places, so I know it will come up sooner or later. Hmm, what would you do? Would you go back?