My mom always told me that the best policy to keep friends is to avoid discussing politics and religion. I will stick to that strategy during this awful political season.

However, after watching the conventions for both parties, listened to their mud slinging, and witnessing my friends devolve into raving lunatics blindly backing whichever candidate they like best, I was reminded of a movie I used to love watching on rainy Sunday afternoons.

Way back in 1985, comedy genius Richard Pryor played “Monty Brewster” in the movie Brewster’s Millions. The film tells the tale of a sad-sack minor league baseball player way past his prime, Monty, who inherits $30,000,000. However, if he can spend the $30 million in 30 days, he’ll inherit $300,000,000. The trick is that he must not have any residual benefit from the expenses, and he cannot tell anyone about the deal.

Of course Monty goes on to spend money like crazy and his friends do everything they can to keep him from blowing his fortune, leading to all sorts of comedic situations. No matter what he does, he can’t spend the money fast enough – until an idea smacks him dead in the face. Monty ends up throwing his hat in the ring, runing for Mayor of New York as a 3rd party candidate. It’s an extremely contentious race already, and Monty’s entry just exacerbates things. But, instead of seeking votes for himself, Monty encourages the citizens to vote “None of the Above” and seek new, better quality candidates.

I won’t spoil the end. Can there be spoilers on a move that’s over 30 year’s old?

The current political landscape reminds me of the situation Monty wandered into with his “None of the Above” campaign. Why can’t I choose “None of the Above” during this election cycle?

Honestly, I don’t like either Presidential candidate. Both are ethically and morally corrupt. I wouldn’t trust either one to watch my checkbook for 10 minutes.

I don’t blame them, per se. The failing is on the citizens for not forcing the leaders of either party to find better candidates. Instead of seeking candidates who can bring people together to work for the good of the country, the party’s goals are to seek a candidate who can out muckrake the other party’s candidate.

We don’t elect the best person for the job. Instead we elect the most loathsome and underhanded person, the person who is only adept at bad mouthing their opponent. It’s a sad situation when the two best people competing to run the country are both criminals.

Where is Monty Brewster when you need him? Shoot, I’d take Ross Perot at this point!