It’s finally time for my colonoscopy. Tomorrow morning I go in and get a camera shoved up my ass. Okay, it’s a little more sophisticated (and comfortable – I hope) than that, but that’s essentially what they’re doing.
Am I nervous? Absolutely. But I don’t think I’m nervous about what you would typically expect me to be nervous about.
I’m not terribly nervous about the procedure since I’ll be knocked out for the whole thing. All I have to do is go to sleep and lie there.
I’m not at all nervous about what the good Doctor might find. Hopefully he finds nothing and I don’t have to go back for a few years. If he does find something, well, I’ll deal with that in whatever shape it takes.
What I’m most nervous about is the prep work I have to do. Everyone I’ve talked to about having a colonoscopy has said that the worst part of the process is the bowel cleanser that I have to take. This stuff has me super worried. What’s it going to taste like? What’s the post-consumption experience? Is it like when you eat bad seafood and you cannot wander more than a foot from the toilet? Or, is it a more civilized situation, where it just feels like you have to go to the bathroom really bad and you get cleaned out in one go? What if it doesn’t work on me and I don’t have the bowel movements they’re expecting? What then? I’m extremely nervous that somehow this proven laxative will fail me. That I’ll be the exception to the process. I know I’m lame, but it’s what has me going nuts.
Going without solid food for 36 hours leading up to the procedure is a huge challenge. Our office has food everywhere and it’s never bothered me, until today, when I can’t eat any of it. I didn’t realize how much I take for granted the fact that there is a pretty well stocked fridge just steps away from my desk, or the vending machine in the hall, or countless drive-thru restaurants I’ll pass on my way home. And I can’t touch any of it! I can’t even imagine how hungry I’ll be by the time this adventure is over. Watch out whatever restaurant I end up at, I’m going to be starving (I already am)!!!
Every time someone walks by my desk with food I can smell it. I don’t care what it is, but it smells like the greatest food ever. My neighbor was eating a bag of chips & I desperately wanted one. Nope, I have to hold out until after the colonoscopy. I have to be strong!
In the end, the most important thing is that I’m going through with having a colonoscopy. If you’re a male in the appropriate age range, don’t be afraid of this! Go! Do it! Take the necessary steps to keep yourself healthy! Sure, it’s not the most exciting or fun thing to do in the world, but it could just save your life!
Besides, once I get past this, I’m only a couple of days away from my vacation. That’s what I’m trying, poorly, to focus on!