Got our annual statement from the Collin County Tax Assessor, who, unsurprisingly, raised our valuation by 10%. Yay! Thanks for increasing my taxes by a metric ton asshat.

Of course I will be protesting this property tax increases. Well, I won’t, I’ve hired someone to do it for me. Filling out the paperwork for this situation is always fun. They ask for reasons your property shouldn’t have been assessed such a significant increase. So, I spend a good hour hunting around the house for things that might, just possibly, make our house look like hell. Fence issues, roof problems, mortar cracking, all of it. I put all of it down, and then some.

I’m beginning to think that those people who have all of the crap piled up in their front yards are on to something. I may just have to find some junk to fill the lawn with to help lower my property taxes. That’s what they want, isn’t it? Some defect to your property that would prohibit it from matching the valuation of your neighbors? Shoot, I load up my yard with junk and I’m doing the neighborhood a favor. If my house looks like absolute shit, then their assessments won’t increase nearly as much as they have, right?

It’s all a bunch of bull anyway. The county decides that it needs a 5-7% increase in tax revenue. So, wealthier neighborhoods average a 10-12% increase in their property taxes, while poorer neighborhoods only see a 2-3% increase. Socialism at work folks! The rich fund that new $60 million football stadium, while the poor continue to barely scrape by. The county is happy because they got their revenue increase. People like me, the ones who fight the increase, muck everything up. But, my guess is that they do enough 15% increases among the very wealthy to account for us protesters.

I looked at the tax increase for every house on my street. All but 4 houses had flat 10% increases. One house had a 16% increase. I don’t know who they pissed off, but I hope I never meet that person. One house had a 12% increase, apparently they only slightly pissed someone off. The remaining two had 9.5% increases. Both of those houses have the hottest wives who tend to sunbath topless right around the time the county is driving around doing their assessments. Hmmmm….

If you average all of the houses, because so many are at exactly 10%, our entire street saw a 10.7% increase. I expanded to the entire neighborhood and it worked out to be almost exactly 10%. I looked up the lower income neighborhood nearby for comparison. That neighborhood saw a 2% increase. They are two streets over from my house. There cannot be that big of a difference in just two blocks. You can’t tell me I’m not being penalized for being able to afford a nicer house. You just can’t.

I can’t wait to see next year’s 12% increase flow through. Maybe I should consider renting?

Have you gotten your assessment? What was your increase?