Between 40 & 50

The ramblings of a middle-aged man


April 2016

Well, Shit!

For the past year I’ve been experiencing some shortness of breath and minor chest pain. At first I thought they were a result of being horribly out of shape. So, I spent the past year working on getting in shape. I transformed the clothes rack in the corner of my bedroom back into a treadmill and started walking every night. At first it was slow and steady. Recently I’ve been up to walking 3 miles each night at a speed of about 4 miles per hour. Not winning any races, but definitely generating some sweat.

None of that helped the shortness of breath or the pain. Sure, I can walk for 3 miles without usually getting winded, but putting on my shoes results in some gasping. The Wife says that I’m the only person she knows who gets winded going up in the elevator. I talk to my doctor about this, he sends me off to the local heart specialty place for a couple of tests.

First up is the Stress Echo test. Continue reading “Well, Shit!”



I rarely read through my mail. It’s a bad habit, I know, but I hate doing it. Why? Because 99.9% of my mail is junk. Seriously! When I do go through it I end up shredding almost all of it. Very rarely do I keep any of the mail I receive, and when I do, I end up losing the important part any way.

Now, let me clarify. I’m not talking about bills or statements. Those important items are handled in a timely manner. What I’m referring to is everything else. The rest of the mail I get is absolute crap. The number of “Urgent Warranty Renewal Notices” I receive is staggering. I swear I get one almost daily. Okay, maybe it just seems that way because I only look at my mail once per month. The most recent Warranty Renewal notice I got had two different cars listed, neither of which I own. Whoops! I guess I won’t be taking advantage of that super special low price on renewing the warranty on my non-existent Honda Civic.

Continue reading “Mail”

This morning I got in trouble for feeding The Girl’s cat the wrong food. I understand cat’s have likes & dislikes. But why do we have “the wrong” cat food in the fridge? If the cat doesn’t like that type of food, why did we buy it? Why am I getting in trouble for feeding the cat food that A) I didn’t buy and B) was the next tin in line to feed him? Some days I just don’t understand how it’s my fault. But it always is!

The Empty House

Today the kids have been gone ALL FRICKIN’ DAY! Do you have any idea what that’s like? The Wife and I have the entire house to ourselves!!!! We can do anything we want! Woo hoo! I’m positively giddy! We can run around naked all day and have sex anywhere we want!

Okay, so the reality of the situation is a bit different. Yes, the kids are out of the house today, but otherwise it’s been a pretty sedate day. No crazy naked olympics going on here. Instead we watched a movie, Trainwreck, starring Amy Schumer, went to a nice lunch at one of our favorite “adult” restaurants, took naps, and did typical adult stuff – i.e. laundry, minor repair projects, bathed the dogs, etc. Continue reading “The Empty House”

Friday Fox – Alyson Hannigan

Each Friday I feature a baker’s dozen images of a 40-something lady who “gets my motor running.”

This is not limited to celebrities, I’d love to feature some regular ladies over forty who’ve got it goin’ on. Email me 13 sexy photos and 1 head shot of your fabulous lady who is over 40 and I’ll feature her on an upcoming Friday’s Fox.

Alyson Hannigan

Continue reading “Friday Fox – Alyson Hannigan”

Darn Those Credit Cards

Yesterday I discover that my main credit card had been compromised. That completely sucks! What makes it even worse is that just last week my wife’s main credit card was also compromised. UGH!

My question is, how? How did this happen? Both of us still have our cards with us, which means something nefarious happened that leaked our numbers out into the world. How? Why? What the hell?

I feel completely vulnerable now. Both The Wife and I thought we were very conservative users of our credit cards. We don’t go to seedy places, we don’t allow them out of our sight, yet, still, someone got ’em.

Fortunately the charges were minor and the issuing companies have been spectacular to work with. The false charge on The Wife’s card was easy to spot – it occurred in California. An outlier charge among The Wife’s usual North Texas haunts.  Continue reading “Darn Those Credit Cards”

Selfies Are Outta Control

I have a friend on Facebook who is the queen of selfies. Every photo she posts is of her. She’s at a restaurant <<click>>. She’s walking into a store <<click>>. She’s at the gym <<click>>. She’s celebrating her wedding anniversary <<click>>. Her daughter is turning 18 <<click>>. She’s on a family vacation to the Bahamas <<click>>. You get the idea, every activity requires a photo.

The photo of her romantic anniversary dinner with her husband = A photo of her at the table

The photo of her daughter’s 18th birthday celebration = A photo of her at the party

The photos from the family vacation = Photos of her on the beach

See a pattern? Continue reading “Selfies Are Outta Control”

Today The Boy was playing Sky Wars on Minecraft and had this epiphany: “Dad, no matter what I do in Sky Wars, I’m hosed. If I get killed by someone they say I’m a ‘noob’ and if I kill them they say I’m a ‘hacker.'” Get used to it boy, that’s the way the world works!

A Late Night

Last night my daughter, aka The Girl, was out late, on her own, for the very first time. It’s the first time The Wife and I have allowed The Girl to drive after dark. It was, quite possibly, the most nerve wracking experience I’ve ever had. Continue reading “A Late Night”

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